Mediation & Collaborative Divorce Coaching

Mediation-What does a Mediator do?

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      As a mediator, I assist divorcing parents and co-parents re-negotiating a Parenting Agreement to negotiate their own settlement (facilitative mediation). I serve as a neutral third party, and at times I may shares ideas that have worked for other families when parties are open to brainstorming creative alternatives (evaluative mediation).

Mediation has a structure, timetable and dynamics that “ordinary” negotiation lacks. The process is private and confidential. The presence of a neutral third party as an active mediator is the key distinguishing feature of the process. There may be no obligation to go to mediation, but in some cases, any settlement agreement signed by the parties to a dispute will be binding on them.

I use various techniques to open, or improve, dialogue between disputants, aiming to help the parties reach an agreement (with concrete effects) on the disputed matter. As a therapist with over thirty years experience and well versed in current research regarding divorce and its effects on families and children, I bring special expertise to the table. I specialize in mediating family matters.

Costs and Payment:
Mediation is $125/hour with the first session being two hours in length. Fees are due at the time of service. A written copy of the agreement will be provided within four days of the session.

Therapeutic Mediation – What does a Therapeutic Mediator do?

In Therapeutic Mediation I work with families who are having conflict, whether it is divorcing or divorced parents; guardianships, or elder situations. This type of mediation is designed to address the emotional issues that are preventing the parties from resolving issues bringing them into conflict.

In therapeutic mediation I work to promote an atmosphere that allows effective communication and assist in mutually acceptable decisions no matter what the issue. The focus is not on short term solutions, but to set up a system for successful communication in the future. Families who participate in therapeutic mediation are much more likely to resolve conflict on a long-term basis, and are much less likely to go to court to litigate their disputes.

Therapeutic mediation is appropriate for nearly all families who are experiencing high conflict, and who therefore may not benefit from conventional mediation. Therapeutic mediation is especially appropriate for those who have participated in traditional mediation without success and whose only other option for resolving their differences is expensive and time-consuming litigation.

Costs and payment:
Therapeutic Mediation is $125 an hour with payment expected at the time of the service.

Collaborative Divorce Coaching – What does a Collaborative Divorce Coach do?

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As a Collaborative Divorce Coach I become your coach to navigating your emotions as you move through a divorce using the Collaborative Divorce approach. I help you deal with feelings such as: blame, guilt, fear and anger, which are all normal feelings when a marriage breaks. Those feelings can, however, be destructive if they pour over to your children, family relationships and the divorcing process.

A Divorce Coach helps you move to a different level of communication to help the divorce process move quicker, less expensively, and less destructively. If you have children, the end of the marriage means a need for a parenting plan, and a new way to communicate that focuses on the children. The primary focus is empowering your family to grow individually and in their relations with each other. Your family is not ending, just restructuring.

You will have meetings with your Coach, and then with your spouse and your spouse’s Coach. All of you will work with the Collaborative attorneys to address problems that may be keeping the collaborative process from moving smoothly. Notes from each meeting will be sent to you and your attorney.

Costs and payment:
Divorce Coaching is $125 an hour with payment expected at the time of the service.

Links and Forms

International Collaborative Professionals Association
http://www.collaborativepractice.com/_loc.asp?T=Profile&PID=2147217597

Oklahoma Collaborative Professionals website
http://www.yourdivorcechoice.com/tulsa.php

Oklahoma Academy of Arbitrators and Mediators
http://en.wikimediation.org/index.php?title=Oklahoma_Academy_of_Mediators_and_Arbitrators
http://www.oama.org/index.html

Forms:

Mediation Agreement
Mediation History
Collaborative Agreement
Release of Information
Collaborative Divorce Coaching Information Form